the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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