they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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