I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
