yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you win again, gameday.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
