Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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