Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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