Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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