we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
