I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
