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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building

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• (850): View more from Florida

  One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a liquor store near my therapist

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i might give it a shot.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?

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• (979): View more from Texas

  There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.

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• (315): View more from New York

  He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican

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