i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.