Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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  (636): Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know. http://tfl.nu/4r5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2759) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?

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  (978): ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm? http://tfl.nu/7m7e
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  (512): View more from Texas

  boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.

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  (512): boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above. http://tfl.nu/vdaw
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

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  (985): Four minutes until I can fart! http://tfl.nu/u0vh
  Replies (11) Good night (1040) Bad night (3274) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......

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  (651): I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me...... http://tfl.nu/ywt3
  Replies (72) Good night (803) Bad night (4779) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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  (814): I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A http://tfl.nu/j0fk
  Replies (25) Good night (6342) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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  (201): If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box? http://tfl.nu/nvmk
  Replies (61) Good night (14415) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila

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  (805): i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila http://tfl.nu/c3w5
  Replies (17) Good night (3661) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were

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  (503): Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were http://tfl.nu/3ofv
  Replies (14) Good night (5691) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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  (859): he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots" http://tfl.nu/5st6
  Replies (47) Good night (1151) Bad night (4175) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

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  (228): Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park. http://tfl.nu/g3vi
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  walking out with herpes. that would be worse

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  (701): nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information (1-701): walking out with herpes. that would be worse http://tfl.nu/edgz
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee

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  (770): How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night? (678): 4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee http://tfl.nu/1zan
  Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (272)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (271) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.

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  (612): It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab. http://tfl.nu/z2cq
  Replies (0) Good night (142) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt

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