I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
