I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The cops high fived after they tackled you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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