just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
