he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
