Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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