It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize