They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
