help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
