Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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