are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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