Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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