I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
