my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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