I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
