I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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