my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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