Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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