first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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