Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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