new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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