the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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