her vagine was all disorganized.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
