I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it hurts more in the daytime
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
