Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
