i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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