you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
