I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
