I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
