If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
