Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
