Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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