Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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