Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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