guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
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You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize