Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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