Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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