well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize