Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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