covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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