thus making me awesome and them whores
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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