My first STD was from a foam party
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
