Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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