did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
