Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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