No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
